May 2014

COMMUNITIES: PRIVATE PRACTICE
Client Relationship R_x: Seven Tough Clients and How to Win Them Over

BY ANDREW SOBOL

You’re a master at the work you do. Unfortunately, you’ve got one client (or maybe more) who’s so hard to deal with you can’t get to a place where you can prove your value. Sound familiar? It should. From time to time, we’ve all struggled with a client who seems indifferent, constantly questions our judgment, or calls our cell phone demanding attention on a Saturday night. Even relationship experts like me aren’t immune.

Early in my consulting career, I had a client who became downright abusive. When we first met, he was relaxed, confident, professional, and even charming. But as time passed, he became ever-more demanding and even vicious. One day, I walked into his office with a memo I had written to summarize our conclusions. He noticed a typo on the second page and began angrily yelling at me. His rant continued for a full minute. I felt utterly trapped in the project. And while I admit this is an extreme case, difficult clients are everywhere. The good news is you can often connect with these people and even turn them into loyal fans.

Sure, there may be the occasional need to fire a client, but for the most part, you can salvage the relationship. It’s just a matter of mastering some basic relationship rules and putting them into practice.

Here, I describe seven types of tough clients you need to be aware of and the strategies for dealing with them:

The Insecure Client. These clients are unsure of themselves and it manifests as them being unsure of you and nervous about failing or looking bad.

The Prescription: Build more trust and reduce their perception of risk. This means investing in more face time, reassuring them about your product or service delivery, demonstrating utter reliability and consistency, etc.

The Boundary Pusher. Clients like this perceive no boundaries around you and your work. They will call and e-mail you at all hours of the day and night, expecting an immediate response.

The Prescription: Explain your boundaries at the very start of the relationship. Also, regularly prioritize with your client.

The Do-Nothing Client. There are some clients who just never move ahead and get things done. You meet with them, you talk, and you agree on next steps, and so on—but then, nothing.

The Prescription: Explore what’s behind your client’s inaction. Is it insecurity and fear? Are they hemmed in by a boss or another executive who is blocking them from taking action? There are many different reasons why a client doesn’t act, and you need to diagnose why so that you know how to address the inaction.

Ask yourself if you might be able to work with them to reassure them about your approach—perhaps even having them talk to another client. And consider whether the client’s priorities have shifted. If so, you need to know that so you can help the client accomplish something that does provide value.

The Know-It-All. This client thinks they know more about what you do than you and is constantly telling you how to do your job.

The Prescription: Reestablish your respective roles. If gentle rebukes don’t work (“Through many years of doing this, I’ve found this is the most effective approach…”), confront them. Tell them they have hired you because of your expertise and experience, and that they need to give you the proper berth to exercise it on their behalf.

Mr. or Ms. Aloof. Some clients treat you like a vendor and resist all efforts to build a real relationship, which seriously limits how much you’re able to help them achieve.

The Prescription: Learn more about the client’s agenda and help them accomplish it. Everyone has a hot button—have you discovered what it is for this executive?

The Insatiable Client. This client feels the work is never, ever good enough, and they also micromanage you. Their behavior can absolutely wear you down.

The Prescription: Carefully calibrate expectations at the beginning of each engagement or transaction. Maybe you need to go deeper into specifics around the type, quality, and format of your output for the client. And remember, as long as you’re doing a good job and achieving the agreed-upon goals, you shouldn’t worry about getting a constant stream of praise.

The Tyrant. They have personality and emotional issues and treat their people—and perhaps you—terribly. Everyone who works for them hates them.

The Prescription: If the client is nice to you, but tyrannical with their team, you may be able to coach them and influence them to change their behavior. Unless you’re specifically in a coaching relationship, however, they may not be open to that kind of personal feedback. If the client is treating you or your colleagues badly, consider moving on.

Just knowing you have a plan to deal with difficult clients can bring a huge sense of relief. Relationships may feel complex and mysterious, but really, they’re subject to some pretty simple rules. When you learn them, and put them into practice, it can shift your work and your career to a higher level.

Andrew Sobel has worked as both a consultant to senior management and as an executive educator and coach. He has written eight bestselling books on business relationships, including his most recent, Power Relationships: 26 Irrefutable Laws for Building Extraordinary Relationships. Readers can download a free, planning guide at http://andrewsobel.com.